Monday 27 August 2012

Things that wind me up!

Today I'm going to talk about a few things that wind me up, nothing major just a few little bug bears!

The first one is my neighbour, you see my neighbour loves curtains. He also loves blinds. In fact he loves to look at them so much he never opens them!!! For some reason I find this really irritating even more so in this hot weather. Unless he is a vampire I forgive him. But seriously since the lad moved in just over two years ago he has not once opened any curtain or blind to let any light in! This shouldn't irritate me but it does! Why wouldn't you open the damn things to let a bit of light in from time to time?

Next is call centres where you have to speak what you want rather than press an option! This winds me up 200%. I dial a number, I then press a button and should get through to the right department, sounds simple right.  Well some bright spark somewhere decided it would be good if we could vocally say what we want, to make our lives that little but more complicated and annoying, and you know what it bloody works! You say for example life insurance and you end up getting Colin in customer relations. I mean how does that work, the two options don't even sound the same. This then results in me making my mind up that the company wont be getting my business as they are obviously trying to appeal to idiots.

New potatoes! Maybe random but in my house it's just my wife and I and from time to time I fancy some new potatoes, especially in the summer. However, everyone and everywhere sells them in massive bags! As there is only two of us we don't always finish the bag and they usually end up getting wasted. I don't like to throw food out as it's a massive waste and when you consider people go hungry its not really right, but if someone at one of the big supermarkets is reading this can you please put your new potatoes out individually so I only pick out what I want so I then don't end up throwing food out. Thanks.

The Sun. No i don't mean that big yellow ball in the sky I mean that daily newspaper. I hate it. I don't mean to offend anyone but as far as I'm concerned the paper is aimed at simple people. I don't like what they they stand for which is sensationalist news, celebrity gossip and generally jumping on band wagons, I could go into more detail but I would be whinging all day and night.

British News. Since the Olympics has finished and I do realise it was like this before but the news is so gloomy and depressing. We have the recession, Greece and the Euro, train fares, petrol prices, falling house prices, GCSE marking screw up. No wonder everyone is so depressed as all the media concentrate on is the negative, I mean why don't they start telling me I have more money and my life is perfect if they say it enough it will convince people to go and spend more money. Might get the country out of this recession.

Lastly cold callers wind me up. If you go to one of my earlier blogs you will see a little more but recently the AA called me trying to save me some money on some cover. First they call me while I'm eating! Come on how do they know when I'm eating it happens every time and secondly they are not going to save me money as they plan to get me to sign up for something I don't currently have which will cost me more money!

Rant over!

C ya later!

Wednesday 8 August 2012

What Makes Me Feel British?

It has been a while since I last posted, had a few things going on and nothing has really fired me up. However as I have a few days off work, today I would like to talk about what makes me feel British!

This summer has been very memorable for the UK, firstly we had The Queens Jubilee and we are almost at the end of the Summer Olympic Games being held in London. This has got me thinking, these two events that don't come around very often and if they do they don't tend to be in the same year have brought the best out of people, made them happy and brought the country maybe a little closer together which is a hard thing to do.

But one reoccurring theme I keep seeing during both events especially comments on Twitter and Facebook is that both of these events have made people feel British and also proud to be British.

First lets talk about the Jubilee, we had an old lady celebrating 60 years on the throne, our Queen. Because of this lots of people had street parties, watched the pageants and celebrations on the BBC and finished with the concert on the Sunday. The Queen does not really say a lot and really lets all think about this one she says nothing other than what is written for her. She does not offer opinions on anything, say anything controversial and really she is pretty Posh. Even William and Harry are incredibly posh though they try not to be so they can appear to be 'like us'.

That is my problem, how can The Royal Family make you feel British, for me personally they don't. They all live in mansions, have an incredible amount of wealth which they never worked for and they get to live off the taxpayer for free. I have absolutely nothing in common with them, they are nothing like me and if a lot of you think about it do they really have anything in common with you? Yes Harry went to Afghanistan to 'fight' but never in a million years would he be put at risk and William got incredibly lucky in the Olympic ticket ballot! Every time I put on the TV he is there watching an event. No wonder nobody could get tickets. You see they pretend to be like you and me but they are nothing like us as they get everything handed to them on a plate, know nothing about real life so therefore they don't make me feel proud to be British in the slightest!

Moving on quickly to what I call the real event of the summer, the London 2012 Olympic Games! Without a doubt this makes me feel British and at the moment very proud to be British for a small island to be doing so well is amazing. You see during the games, we as a nation have achieved so much, we are fast approaching 50 medals of all colours and these athletes are showing that with a bit of hardwork, dedication and some excellent coaches you can achieve your dreams. For all the young children out there who want to follow in these amazing athletes footsteps, they will have seen them do it and will be thinking I can do that too one day if I work hard enough. But also I think this applies to everyone else in whatever job they do, be it an office worker, tradesman or a high flying executive whatever you want to achieve you can look at these Olympic athletes see how hard they have worked to achieve dreams and apply it to your own life.

And that in a nutshell is what makes me feel British, our country are taking the world on and showing we are great through hardwork and determination. No longer being a laughing stock but being admired for being world beaters. The Royal Family don't offer any of these positives, they just have the privileges of life because they were born into the right family who just want to maintain their position over society so they can be all superior to everyone else and the sooner we become a republic the better!

C ya later!

Sunday 8 July 2012

Remember that time in Rome...

Good afternoon and apologies for my lack of blogs recently not only have I been engrossed in the football and been on holiday to Italy but my life is not that exciting for me to always have something to write about!

Anyway, today I wish to discuss something, or should I say show you a few things that I do on holiday or trips. Think of it as a collection. Some people collect fridge magnets, well I tend to collect pictures with street entertainers!

Here are a few I made earlier...



In Covent Garden, London with some wizard guy


 Gran Canaria with this out of place cowboy


Sydney with an orange man


Also Sydney with this funky Aborigine

As you can see from the photos I have selected above it is all pretty harmless. I have my photo taken and then I'll drop about a Pound, Dollar, Euro which ever currency I'm using into the box. I'm happy and they are happy and I'm sure they will make good money if they have suckers like me coming up every five minutes!

Then one time in Rome I met this man....



He looks like a nice guy. He decided to make me a bit more womanly so he had obviously been reading my mind!


Me and him were getting on great


I even show him some brotherly love


He clearly likes to have his photo taken


He even dragged the wife up!

You see a picture may tell one story but not necessarily the whole story, as during this whole experience the man was slightly CRAZY! I just wanted one picture taken, but no he wanted several, wanted to dress me like a woman and then demand that my wife had to have her picture taken! The whole time we were trying to get away but with his magic Roman powers he made us stay against our wills!

Then it came to payment, as mentioned earlier I only ever give these people small change. As I was in Italy in this instance it was going to be a Euro. The first mistake I made was to get my change out of my pocket. I had to get the whole lot out as I couldn't decipher one coin from another!
The man must of thought it was Christmas as soon as he saw my fortune he demanded 5 Euros!

I thought no way! I gave him my Euro and he moved his hand out of the way so it fell onto the floor and he repeated 5 Euros. I said to him no but by this point he was really angry and from being brothers a few minutes earlier I could see we were now life long enemies!

I wasn't going to give in and neither was he. So what does a man in this situation do? That's right he runs away and leaves his wife to sort the situation out.

I of course look behind but he is still shouting at me angrily with that look of rage like I had just jumped all over his parents grave!

My wife being the hero she is, picked up the Euro and gave it to the poor man and then ran away too!

C ya later!

Monday 4 June 2012

The Royal Family - Just A Bunch Of Freeloaders

This weekend has been The Queens Diamond Jubilee to celebrate 60 years on the throne and the dear old lady has kindly given us an extra two days onto our weekend. Thanks Liz I do appreciate it but to be honest I don't really care about you all that much and I'm going to try and explain why.
To me, the Royal Family members have struck it lucky, they have been born into a family of wealth and status and we are told to love them and that they are fantastic. That is really my problem, they are born into a life of privilege and have a head start and advantage over everyone else. I do realise some families are going to have more money that others but The Royal Family have hardly worked hard for years to build up a company or climb up the greasy ladder in the business world. Liz just like Charlie, Wills and Harry were born into this and the cycle will continue. They get the best food, health care and education. They can't really screw up and if they do it doesn't matter because they are minted.

When ever I moan about The Royal Family, people always say William and Harry do work for a living. I can't argue with that but to me its just PR, its just an exercise to prove that they are normal so The Royal Family can continue to exist in the way it does so they can be in touch with the common man and woman. How many helicopter pilots does the average Joe know? They get these fantastic jobs because they were born into some lucky royal lineage so they had way more opportunities than the rest of us. Why don't they give up their entitlements they earned through hereditary birth right and just be normal if that is what they want to do?

I also realise the Royals do do a lot of good. I can't knock The Princes Trust or the charity work they do and I'm sure they are all generally normal people . I really don't think its fair that we live in a world where a select few get a plush life, just because of a hereditary line that entitles them to a life of wonderful opportunity while normal folk have to earn it rather than be given it all on a silver platter.

So should we get rid of them? To be honest its not just down to me, I do believe in democracy so the nation should have a vote if we were ever given the chance but if we were to be given the vote I would certainly vote to abolish them and have them all sent to a council estate where they could really appreciate the common person!

I hope I have explained my self, I'm sure I have missed many points if you were to ask me in person I could probably go on a lot more about this but ill let you enjoy your evening!

C ya later!

Thursday 31 May 2012

Do your shopping and get the f**k out of my shop - The Aldi experience!

My life must be pretty boring as I'm resulting to having to write about a supermarket but at the end of the day we all have to shop at them, food is kind of necessary.

I used to be a bit of a snob and would never go into Aldi. They don't do brands, they do cheap rip offs and surely the quality can't be as good as Heinz and co. At the end of the day it will come down to personal opinion but to me it doesn't taste any different to the main brands.

So the big great Aldi experience then. Well for a start its not like Waitrose, where here they don't serve the next customer until you are done, the staff are also presented smartly and professionally. It's also certainly not like Tesco where you get to see a badge of how long Sheila has worked there for! No its not like either of these at all, it's basically a competition to go in and find the food hidden amongst the cardboard packaging. Aldi to me don't seem to believe in store presentation, it seems like they want you to go in and search for the items. Don't let this put you off though - if you see an empty box on the shelf just fling it out the way and you will usually find more hidden food behind!

Take for example, Saturday just gone. I was getting my orange juice and was having to dice with death as the juice I wanted was hidden under 4 layers of blackcurrant juice. It was basically a game of Jenga and I was hoping I wouldn't meet my maker by blackcurrant juice. Obviously I lived but I'm not sure the next person would have been so lucky.

Once you have survived all this you get to the checkout. Other supermarket cashiers are sedate they take their time. Not Aldi. Once your trolley is parked up, the checkout lady starts scanning straight away, she literally scans the items at the speed of light (if not faster) and plonks them at the end in the tiniest space ever! You are then faced with a race, you have to throw everything into the trolley or else you run out of room. I sometimes chuckle to myself that the nice checkout lady will push the food off to teach us a lesson for being too slow. Or maybe too old in some peoples' case.

It gets better. You must have realised everything is not packed, Aldi like you to bring your own bags, or they charge you the pricey sum of 3p for a new bag. You then have to go to a packing area and unpack your trolley to put all your food into the appropriate carrier bag with a 100 other people. You have no room, all the food is over the place and you cant find the matching things to put into the right bag! Frustrating!

So why do I go to Aldi? Its a frustrating experience, they don't like you to overstay your welcome and its dangerous. However, it's cheap and you save a lot of money over branded items especially when you have better things to spend money on like upcoming holidays!

C ya later!

Sunday 20 May 2012

Clubbing? No thanks I would rather have a cuppa than go to the dungeon of noise

Good evening! It's been a couple of weeks people, sorry for the lack of posting but I'm back!

I had the pleasure this past weekend of attending a club night in the local town where I live. A few beers, maybe a dance and catch up with some friends. It sounded a good idea but really it wasn't in hindsight and all I wanted to do once I stepped through the door was either to be sat in a quiet pub or at home watching the last two episodes of The Bridge on BBC 4.

I'm 28, its not exactly old but clubbing, bars and generally noisy places are not for me. They are generally for those who are in their late teens to early 20's and just want to enjoy themselves before settling down.

Anyway at this fantastic club night, half the people in there I could swear were under 18. Maybe I just can't tell peoples' ages so well but I'm sure I didn't look that baby faced 10 years ago. Maybe I did. I'll have to check some old photos and see but I did feel out of place. Maybe it was because I wasn't battered.

I'm going to list the reasons I don't like night clubs/bars so much these days. The very reasons that came flooding back to me on Saturday night!

1) Without sounding old but it's too bloody LOUD! I can't hear a single word people say to me, I'm sat or stood there with friends and if I want to talk to someone I have to talk directly into their ear or shout at them! Come on it's ridiculous, it's not normal or sane behaviour to be doing this! I saw some friends who I didn't even get to talk to. I mean what is the point if they can't hear me!!!

2) Its fake! Night clubs are fake, or should I say the people are fake. The blokes all walk around with an attitude trying to be cool and macho. I have even seen some people wear sunglasses in a nightclub! I mean come on, it's dark you don't need them! If you want to get laid why don't you try talking?

3) Expensive! They usually charge you about £5 plus to get in, then the drinks on top are expensive! It's a complete rip off and they can then charge what ever they want once you're inside! You are literally trapped, you can't leave because you have paid a stupid entrance fee and to leave would mean spending even more to repeat this cycle!

4) People dance like idiots! I have seen it loads of times, you get a few beers down you and you start to dance like an idiot, acting like the man or the biggest slut going. Blokes will often try and grind women from behind and they have not even made eye contact! I mean if I were to do that in a supermarket because I liked the look of someone I'm sure the police would be involved. Why is this any different?

5) The man in the toilet! Come on, why do they need a man offering soaps, aftershave and deodorants when I go to the toilet? All this encourages me to do is pee and run! Not at the same time of course but I then don't wash my hands as I don't want to pay a couple of quid for the pleasure, as all the washing facilities have been removed!

I'm sure you all get my point, we are supposed to think night clubs are cool, if you don't, then you are instantly some kind of weirdo who doesn't want to have sex. That's ridiculous as there are 100's of ways to meet members of the opposite sex without having to go to one of these dungeons of noise, drink too much alcohol then get someone pregnant as no rubber was a good idea at the time! Plus you will wake up and look across the bed and think WTF have I done!

So that concludes my dissatisfaction with clubs, if you see me in one, please slap me.

C ya later!

Monday 7 May 2012

5 a day, 3 times a week and 21 units a week

Trying to lead a healthy well balanced life style to me is a challenge. Everywhere you go you are faced with Mcdonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut. All delicious but not very good for you and so very very very tempting. Then when you do go to a place where there is a healthy option, it is often way more expensive and a bit half hearted and usually limited if you ask me. You don't go to Mcdonalds and have the salad and if you do have the salad its still likely to be covered in salt!

Last week when I was in Sheffield my mate and I went to the Wetherspoons and looking through the menu some of the meals on the menu had over 100% fat in them of your daily GDA. Even the healthy stuff had 50% of your daily recommended amount in one meal! And some even had 150% of your daily allowance! I'm sure the majority of us try to eat right but these companies don't make it easy.

Lets take my local town Whittlesey as an example of the fast food epidemic, from the top of my head we have two fish and chip shops, one Indian, 5 Chinese takeaways, one Mexican and 6 pizza/burger/general places so that makes 14 takeaway establishments for a population roughly of 15,000. Isn't that a lot for a small population? What does that say for Whittlesey? Are all towns like this these days?

A big bug bear of mine is fast food sponsoring sporting events! Yes I'm looking at you Mcdonalds, Coca Cola and Cadburys! They all sponsor either the football world cup or the Olympics! Come on what is that all about? Have a Big Mac and then you can do the 100 metres, just like Usain Bolt? It's ridiculous and pointless! Obviously they sponsor these events because they can afford the huge fees to associate their brand with a world event but don't these sporting bodies have a duty of care to say 'Yo Ronald get your Big Mac away from the Olympics' Wouldn't Shredded Wheat and Granny Smiths Apples be a better partner? Not as glamorous but it would provide a more consistent message. I mean just thinking off the top of my head couldn't the government stop junk food advertising? They are constantly hammering tobacco companies so I'm sure they could target these kind of things as well. Obesity is becoming a bigger and bigger problem right and no wonder it's an issue with all these fast food places and mixed messages from these sporting events!

Alcohol consumption is a big issue as well, young people today don't go out to enjoy a pint, they want to get s**t faced and w******d. I'm no angel and I used to get involved in that every weekend but I don't remember getting any education at school about safe drinking and the ways it can harm you. It wasn't until about 5 years ago when it became an issue with the media I started to understand about units and the potential dangers of exceeding the recommended weekly allowance.

I'm not really sure if I have explained what I wanted to or got my point across, thanks for reading none the less!

C ya later!