Good evening! It's been a couple of weeks people, sorry for the lack of posting but I'm back!
I had the pleasure this past weekend of attending a club night in the local town where I live. A few beers, maybe a dance and catch up with some friends. It sounded a good idea but really it wasn't in hindsight and all I wanted to do once I stepped through the door was either to be sat in a quiet pub or at home watching the last two episodes of The Bridge on BBC 4.
I'm 28, its not exactly old but clubbing, bars and generally noisy places are not for me. They are generally for those who are in their late teens to early 20's and just want to enjoy themselves before settling down.
Anyway at this fantastic club night, half the people in there I could swear were under 18. Maybe I just can't tell peoples' ages so well but I'm sure I didn't look that baby faced 10 years ago. Maybe I did. I'll have to check some old photos and see but I did feel out of place. Maybe it was because I wasn't battered.
I'm going to list the reasons I don't like night clubs/bars so much these days. The very reasons that came flooding back to me on Saturday night!
1) Without sounding old but it's too bloody LOUD! I can't hear a single word people say to me, I'm sat or stood there with friends and if I want to talk to someone I have to talk directly into their ear or shout at them! Come on it's ridiculous, it's not normal or sane behaviour to be doing this! I saw some friends who I didn't even get to talk to. I mean what is the point if they can't hear me!!!
2) Its fake! Night clubs are fake, or should I say the people are fake. The blokes all walk around with an attitude trying to be cool and macho. I have even seen some people wear sunglasses in a nightclub! I mean come on, it's dark you don't need them! If you want to get laid why don't you try talking?
3) Expensive! They usually charge you about £5 plus to get in, then the drinks on top are expensive! It's a complete rip off and they can then charge what ever they want once you're inside! You are literally trapped, you can't leave because you have paid a stupid entrance fee and to leave would mean spending even more to repeat this cycle!
4) People dance like idiots! I have seen it loads of times, you get a few beers down you and you start to dance like an idiot, acting like the man or the biggest slut going. Blokes will often try and grind women from behind and they have not even made eye contact! I mean if I were to do that in a supermarket because I liked the look of someone I'm sure the police would be involved. Why is this any different?
5) The man in the toilet! Come on, why do they need a man offering soaps, aftershave and deodorants when I go to the toilet? All this encourages me to do is pee and run! Not at the same time of course but I then don't wash my hands as I don't want to pay a couple of quid for the pleasure, as all the washing facilities have been removed!
I'm sure you all get my point, we are supposed to think night clubs are cool, if you don't, then you are instantly some kind of weirdo who doesn't want to have sex. That's ridiculous as there are 100's of ways to meet members of the opposite sex without having to go to one of these dungeons of noise, drink too much alcohol then get someone pregnant as no rubber was a good idea at the time! Plus you will wake up and look across the bed and think WTF have I done!
So that concludes my dissatisfaction with clubs, if you see me in one, please slap me.
C ya later!
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